I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
