Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
