she smelled like a LAN party
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
