he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Buhtt sex?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
