is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
