between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize