Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
