apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
People in love make me want to vomit
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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