I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
