I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
