my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
