We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
