do you believe in love at first sight?
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.