Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
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I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
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It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.