All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT