she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
it was like eating out sand paper
I forgot how hot balto sounded
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
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She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
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Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?