I want to have your abortion
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize