he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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