I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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