Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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