I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
