The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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