Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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