Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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