im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Randomize