I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
