My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
