now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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