I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Randomize
