you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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