walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he was CRYING into my vagina
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
