john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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