did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
