Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize