You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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