i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
