When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Randomize
