Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Drake has all the answers
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
