I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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