Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
