Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize