Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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