I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
