so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
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Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
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The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
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