He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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