Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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