p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
