Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
