i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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