I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Tornado booty call.. dedication
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
