i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
It's like God shit irony all over that family
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
