she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
