It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
