there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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