Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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