your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
