Have you finally orgasmed yet?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Duck Duck Cougar?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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