If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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