oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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