you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
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